COUNT CHOCULA (vieille "critique" de 2009)

Ah ben, ah ben!

Dans le cadre de mon neverending ménage, je suis tombé sur, vous l'aurez deviné parce que vous savez lire, une vieille "critique" de Count Chocula qui date de 2009! Dans cet extrait d'un article publié dans le très excellent journal étudiant de la Faculté d'agriculture de l'Université du Manitoba (d'ailleurs, allez faire un tour sur le site de la maison mère; l'équipe J de Belœil y a posté deux couvertures que j'ai conçues alors que j'étais éditeur du magazine), et donc rédigé en anglais, vous constaterez que je m'attarde seulement aux guimauves… de là le critique entre guillemets.

Sans plus tarder, voici la "critique" souvenir… du moins, l'extrait qui nous intéresse!

« What else you might wonder, 'cause yes, I did say I would write about random stuff, which implies more than one topic. So topic number two (that's right) is cereals and more precisely those damned good Count Chocula (I assume he must be damned — any vampire would be (and a stupid one such as Count Chocula (he only has one front teeth after all) must be damned among the damned as even them would reject him)). So what about them? Well, I got one very important question for you: some of the marshmallow bits (in France, I believe they call them shamalo (I don't know about you, but it sounds like disco to me (hence, it sucks))) are stars, some are bats, some are super funky two-coloured ghosts, but what are the other ones?? Lightning bolts?? Dog's poop?? If so, why?? Check figure 1 to see the marshmallow bits I'm talking about. You can also have a look at figure 2. These are the cereals. I assume they're ghosts, but they kinda look like bats', moles' or pigs' noses. That's stupid. Why couldn't General Mills, the one and only great general of this world, have some key like he did for Lucky Charms? At least, when I eat my Lucky Charms, I know what I'm eating and what awesome powers it gives me (see, if I would have had Lucky Charms this morning, I could have eaten the balloon marshmallow bits or the star ones so I could have flown (wow, this is tricky grammar right now) to campus instead of risked falling at every step ('cause yes, this is history repeating: ten years ago, I was in the world famous ice storm that caused a blackout for three weeks in my hometown somewhere east of Montréal (if you care to know, my hometown is Beloeil (as in good looking eye (yes, one eye (only one (the other one's disgusting))))) and I hope for you and I that we don't have to deal with that 'cause it's annoying.)) »

Fun, hein!

V'là les figures dont je parle dans mon texte.


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